Staying Close, Despite the Distance
It wasn’t that long ago that most families lived in the same community generation after generation. As loved ones grew older and needed help with the activities of daily life, younger family members could share the responsibilities.
But today, families are often spread out all over the country and beyond. Children move for their careers…parents pack up to their dream retirement spot…great-grandparents may be the only ones left in the family’s hometown. Everyone stays in touch, but they do it by phone, e-mail, and occasional visits.
So, when a parent or grandparent needs care and support, or when a care crisis occurs, families may come face to face with the challenge of long distance caregiving. If this describes your situation, here are some practical suggestions for understanding your family member’s needs and working with friends, relatives, and professional service providers to make sure those needs are met.
Assessing Your Situation
The first step is to be well informed concerning the issues and the resources available to deal with them. Talk to those who are on the scene (your loved one, as well as family and friends who live nearby, the person’s healthcare providers and any others involved). Ask lots of questions. Listen to what people are telling you. Make notes to which you can refer to later.
Make a note of the names, phone numbers and e-mail addresses of anyone who can help keep you informed. And be sure to let them know how to contact you in case something happens of which you should be aware.
Making a Plan
Once you have a feel for what the issues are, it’s time to begin figuring out what your role can and should be. Here are some points to keep in mind as you do this planning:
• Make sure all the right people are involved during the planning process-other family members, professionals, and especially the person about whom you are concerned.
• A top goal is to support the person’s maximum level of independence. His or her self-esteem, dignity, and health status are all best served by remaining an active, informed decision maker for as long as possible.
• Remember, caregiving responsibilities often call for teamwork. If other family members are on the scene and are doing more than you are able to do, find ways to acknowledge the greater role they are playing. Ask their help in finding practical ways in which you can share the responsibilities.
Resources are Available to Help
As you prepare to get more involved in care, even though from long distance, it’s nice to know there is an entire network of eldercare support services out there to help. Here are three key resources you can contact:
• If your loved one is already receiving care (for example, home health care, assisted living, or a nursing home), coordinate with the care professionals. Schedule a visit to discuss your loved one’s needs and plan of care.
• If community-based eldercare services are needed, contact the person’s Area Agency on Aging.
• A private care manager can help family assess caregiving needs and coordinate eldercare services. Involvement can be on a one-time basis (for example, locating home care services or assisted living). Or the care manager can remain involved on an ongoing basis, as advocate and care coordinator. To find a private care manager in your area, ask your Area Agency on Aging for a referral.
Keep in Touch
Work out a communication strategy that’s best for everyone. Call your loved one on a regular basis, or provide calling cards or a prepaid cell phone. And what about e-mail? Seniors are one of the fastest growing groups when it comes to computer use. Find out whether your relative has e-mail access or would be open to learning.
It’s distressing to be far away when problems arise! But working with the available network of family, friends and service providers provides greater peace of mind for everyone.
(c)2008 IlluminAge Communication Partners
About Senior Helpers:
Senior Helpers provides many in- home, caregiving services for the elderly in Bridgewater, Edison, Piscataway, Hillsborough, Somerset, Somerville and neighboring towns. We offer extensive in-home care services for seniors who embrace their independence and the personal dignity that goes with it. Our in-home care services are provided by bonded and insured caregivers all of whom pass a national background check.
If a senior family member needs in-home care services in Somerset, Mercer, Hunterdon, Warren or W. Middlesex Counties, NJ, we are an excellent choice with exemplary references. In home health care is the compassionate choice for your elderly loved ones’ continued independent living. We promise we will do our best to make it a positive experience for them and you. For more information, please visit: http://seniorhelpers.com/location/3409.
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