Senior Helpers In Home Elder Care of Central New Jersey Gives Advice for Making the Leap to Retirement

Financial planning for retirement is regularly featured in newspaper and television ads and although critical, it is not the only thing for which couples should consider and plan for when thinking ahead to retire­ment. Once happy couples, while one or both was working outside the home, may become so unhappy when they retire that they actually divorce. Changes in their lifestyle can impose so much strain that couples find it easier to split up.

One very common situation that arises among retiring couples is differ­ent expectations about how to spend retirement; one may want to travel while the other is content at home reading and gardening. A 2004 study by the Center for Retirement Re­search at Boston College found that less than one in five couples retired in the same year. This leads to another common source of discord-when a partner who continues to work ex­pects the now-retired partner to pick up additional chores at home,-but it does not happen.

Partners, who previously did not get involved in the other’s daily routine, may make suggestions about how things should go, now that one of them has time on their hands. This can lead to frustration and often anger from the one who has been doing it all along for years without interference.

The reason for retirement, voluntary or involuntary, affects an individual, and may affect the partner as well, depending upon their level of em­pathy and understanding. The psy­chological and emotional effects of retirement, even when planned, can be surprising. After years of work­ing, one may find they feel useless, unproductive, and simply lost-especially if no hobbies or relation­ships outside of the workplace have been developed. Income may be negatively affected, which leads to its own set of concerns.

Finally, issues related to aging and failing health contribute to stress and strain, which can be exacer­bated if the healthier, more vibrant partner feels stuck taking care of the other person. Here are some tips to help avoid these types of problems and ensure the happy retirement couples envision.

Plan together

Communicate: Effective communi­cation is critical in all relationships and it is no different for couples who have been together for years. Retirement is a major milestone that requires planning, and plan­ning for two requires two-way com­munication. Couples should talk about their respective hopes and dreams and realize that each may have to give a bit to reach a happy medium. Consider who should retire first, if there is a choice. Look at the effects on income and ben­efits, particularly medical coverage. Consider the best time to collect Social Security benefits (e.g. do you need to begin claiming at age 62 or can you wait until you receive maxi­mum benefits at a later age).

Prepare for the Transition: Start talking well in advance to prepare for impending retirement. Consider how you might divide household responsibilities post-retirement, regardless of whether one or both are retiring at the same time, and reach an agreement. Try living on a reduced budget to see how that feels and what changes need to be made to your lifestyle. Check out the availability of part-time work in your current job to ease into retirement. Look for part-time jobs available in your geographic area. Volunteer opportunities can help fill time and afford the opportunity to engage in activities that help maintain your sense of purpose and accomplishment.

Plan for “Me” Time: Set boundar­ies to allow for private individual time. Many couples find that there is such a thing as too much togeth­erness. Making time for meeting with your own friends can help in the long run by ensuring that your entire social life isn’t dependent only on your partner. When your partner passes on, you will be comforted by the support system you have established and maintained over the years.

Try New Things: Retirement offers a great opportunity to identify and explore both individual and couples activities. If you enjoy dancing, now might be the time to take dance lessons. If your budget is limited, look at free activities organized by your local community center, such as nature walks. Many seniors meet at their nearest mall for “mall walk­ing.” There are free e-classes that can be taken online.

Preparing in advance and being open about expectations can ensure your retirement years are happy and fulfilling!

Additional Resources

www.couplesretirementpuzzleblog.com – Dorian Mintzer, M.S.W., Ph.D. and Roberta K. Taylor, RNCS, M.Ed., experts in adult development and life planning, have written The Couple’s Retirement Puzzle: 10 Must-Have Conversations for Transitioning to the Second Half of Life, due in spring 2011. They also write about retirement issues on their blog at this site, which has helpful information, including a short quiz to help you determine if you and your partner are viewing retirement in the same way.

www.mynextphase.com – This membership site measures the seven personality traits which influence how you handle decisions and transitions. The process will actually adjust to your personality, so you can better plan a retirement that meets your individual needs.

www.retirementlifematters.com/relationships/couples-transition-into-retirement – Retirement Life Matters provides information and support compiled by a group of experts to help you successfully make the transition from paid work to what’s next.

About Senior Helpers:

Senior Helpers provides many in- home, caregiving services for the elderly in Bridgewater, Edison, Piscataway, Hillsborough, Somerset, Somerville and neighboring towns.  We offer extensive in-home care services for seniors who embrace their independence and the personal dignity that goes with it.  Our in-home care services are provided by bonded and insured caregivers all of whom pass a national background check.

 

If a senior family member needs in-home care services in Somerset, Mercer, Hunterdon, Warren or W. Middlesex Counties, NJ, we are an excellent choice with exemplary references.  In home health care is the compassionate choice for your elderly loved ones’ continued independent living. We promise we will do our best to make it a positive experience for them and you.  For more information, please visit: http://seniorhelpers.com/location/3409.